Word of the Week #208:

Incubation

Okay, visualise this:

The quarantine has ended.

My favourite friends are throwing a party at their place… Because, that’s what you do when a quarantine ends, right?

I’m late, but not too late. I’m just at the right time, really, when the party is already in its full flow and everyone is already having fun. No more awkward small talk while everyone waits for people to join in on the dance floor. 

I can see her through the open door. I watch her as she prances about, her long, lustrous hair bobbing around her waist and her beautiful smile lighting up the dimly lit room. 

She turns. Our eyes meet.

Cue the music

She sees me walking up the stairs in slow motion, my hair ruffled by the soft breeze and my black shirt just unbuttoned enough to offer a glimpse of the recently-chiseled body underneath.

Striding in, I place my hand at her waist and spin her into my arms. Our eyes meet again, and we know what we want.

The chorus rises.

Without hesitation, we break into dance.

I was made for lovin’ you, Baby,
You were made for lovin’ me.
And I can’t get enough of you, Baby
Can you get enough of me?

Sounds fun, right?

Well, anybody who knows me knows that I cannot dance. At all.

Do I have a chiseled body? Maybe if it were chiseled out of foam.

Actually, I don’t think I even have a black shirt.

So, what is the point of this daydream?

In tough times like these, it is important to dream. And not just dream idly, either. Continuing to work towards your goals is important to sustain sanity when the normalcy and the noise of a routine are taken from you.

This is not the time to pause your dreams, but to feed them, gestate them, and prepare them to be borne into a new world.

Isolation can be the best time to work on things that scare you. Use it wisely. Keep working, not from the fear of failure but from the joy of the pursuit. And soon enough, things will be back to a new normal. 

I have my list:

  • Learn how to dance
  • Keep working out
  • Get a black shirt

Let’s get to work, shall we?

Word of the Week #207:

Quarantine

So, all my life, I have worked from home. 

I mean, okay, “home” is a weird topic, right now, but that is an entirely different thing. 

Anyway, spending long hours sitting in front of my Mac, typing away furiously with nary a distraction, that has been my life for as long as I can remember… Or at least as long as I have had a Mac…

Hence, imagine my consternation when the one time I decide working from home is not going to be enough, the entire world seems to want to reverse course. And that too when I was just beginning to feel at home where I currently am. Now, the stores and malls and, well, everything is closing around me.

Fate has a keen sense of irony.

I have little food, little money, and little reason to stay, but I don’t think I should leave either. Also, I don’t want to leave. 

I plan to stay my ground and fight for the home I’ve built, here.

The vibes, right now…

When the gusts came around to blow me down…

That song is just perfect…

But it doesn’t end on a pleasant note.

Then again, what does?

Word of the Week #206:

Abode

Home…

It seems like a simple concept, right?

And yet, for the past several months, it has continued to elude me.

Actually, I only started actively thinking about it in the past few months. I suppose it has weighed on my mind for almost all my life.

As social beings, humans are forever cursed to seek somewhere they belong. I have been seeking for as long as remember.

And it has been a struggle. I could never relate to people, never connect with them. I could never feel at home.

I will accept that I have been lucky to have been surrounded by many people who love me, and a few who might even understand me. I wonder how many people are afforded that luxury. And yet, I always struggled to find somewhere I belong.

And after several months since the stark realisation that I have no home, I have only now begun to understand what I need to do.

I cannot find somewhere I belong because that place does not exist.

Time has come for me to build a home.

This is a place where I don’t feel alone.
This is a place where I feel at home.

— The Cinematic Orchestra, To Build A Home