‘No’ means ‘no’.
We’ve been hearing that a lot; perhaps more often and more loudly over the past few years.
But is that really true? Does ‘no’ always mean ‘no’? Does ‘yes’ always mean ‘yes’?
You know, humans aren’t the most honest of beings. We are trained to lie and deceive, to blend in and hide our true feelings and desires in order to survive in this world.
Think about it. Try to remember the times when you would attend a birthday party as a kid. Remember how you would be offered an extra piece of cake, and when you took you it your parents would glare and frown at you.
If you were at all smart, you would understand exactly what it meant: “The next time someone offers you more cake, you better decline, you little critter.”
Makes sense, right? After all, nobody wants their kid to be branded as a glutton.
So, the next time you are at a party and someone asks if you want more cake, what do you say? Well, there have been many, many times when I said ‘no’.
Did I mean ‘no’? Occasionally, yeah. If the cake is bad, I’m not interested in seconds… But if the cake is soft and moist and just the right amount of sweet, why would I not want more? Then why would I still say ‘no’?
Well, in some cases, ‘no’ might not mean ‘no’.
It might mean ‘yes, I do, but I cannot.’
Or ‘not right now.’
Or ‘Yes, but I am just too full.’
Or ‘I do, but I am on a diet.’
Or ‘Yes, but I have to fast before my colonoscopy.’
Or ‘Yes, but that amount of chocolate will kill me.’
Or ‘Yes, but I don’t want it from you; who knows where those hands have been.’
Or simply ‘Nah, I don’t do chocolate. Cheesecake only.’
Regardless, that is far from an invitation to come and try to stuff that piece of cake into my mouth. Try that and you’re going to got killed, boy. DO NOT test me.
No matter what was meant or why, when you hear ‘no’, you better take it as a ‘no’.
To paraphrase a beloved poem from my childhood,
Their’s not to make reply,
Their’s not to reason why,
Their’s but to get the hell out of my face.
Consent. It’s a piece of cake.