You know, I am quite weird.
However, there are times when I struggle to define the kind of weird I am.
For instance, I generally tend to ramble on about how I hate structures and restrictions. However, weirdly enough, the first thing I do when I start a project is splitting the entire thing into distinct, discrete sections and creating an extensive schedule.
In my life, I do often despise strict adherence to rules and conventions, especially ones that seem arbitrary and illogical. And yet, the job I chose for myself almost necessitates doing so, and additionally making sure others do so as well.
My documents tend to be immaculately formatted. You will not find a single space where there shouldn’t be one. But visit my bedroom, and you shall see the true extent of chaotic madness.
There will be days when I’m supposed to work, when I have to work, but I would just not step out of the bed. Then, there will be days when I am supposed to take some time off and rest, but I instead end up working for 9–10 hours anyway—as I did just today.
Some people know me as the most optimistic person they have ever known, while others find me to be quite cynical.
There are times when I am extremely sensitive and receptive, but also times where my blasé attitude towards things that others consider major can be seen as rather galling.
A lot of the stuff that I do is extremely—sometimes excessively—logical and premeditated, and at other times, I will just decide to change the entire course of my life based on one moment of whimsy and that will be it.
It is weird, right?
The few people who know me well enough would know about these random inconsistencies. And the very few who know me too well might know these aren’t as random as they seem.
And if you knew me as well as I do, you might even think that this is not inconsistent at all. This is, in its very core, true balance.
This is what brings order to a chaotic universe.
“Though this be madness, yet there is method in’t.”
—William Shakespeare, Hamlet